reflections
by cinnamon.sticks.coffee
Summary: Four times that Sasuke looks at his own reflection, and each time he sees something different. drabble. [sasuke-centric]


reflections

Four times Sasuke looks at his reflection, and each time he sees something different.

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1. Sasuke looks at himself in the mirror. He is only seven, and he's using a small bucket to look in the mirror. He stares at his smooth skin, and his shiny hair. He thinks to himself that Mother would like it.

And then he reminds himself that he is standing alone in the bathroom of an empty house, in an empty neighborhood.

He thinks of his father for a second. His father has never smiled at him for any reason that Sasuke can remember, except for one. It was months ago, when he was practicing throwing shuriken. He remembers the wry smile that he had flashed at him, and he asks, "Why?"

"You look like Itachi."

Sasuke thinks of that _murderous, disgusting, __piece of utter trash_, and he looks at his reflection. He sees another face besides his own, whispering words of hate. Sasuke wants to smash the mirror to pieces, but knows that it won't do anything but hurt himself. So the seven year old steps down from the bucket, walking out of the bathroom in a rage.

He hates his brother, and he never wants to see that traitor again.

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2. Sasuke is standing in a cold, empty bathroom, save for a toilet and a mirror. Now, he's tall enough to look at himself. Sasuke activates his Sharingan, and he looks at himself, red eyes spinning.

He looks far too old to be only thirteen. His skin has too many scars and there are bags beginning to settle underneath his eyes.

He thinks of Konoha.

He thinks of Naruto, that loud idiot.

Sakura, that annoying girl who was hopelessly in love with him.

And Kakashi, who's words are now suddenly reverberating in his mind. _"In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash, that's true, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash."_

And all too recent memories of Naruto and his bleeding red chakra, and Sakura crying come rushing back to him. The words of his _former_ sensei are now screaming at Sasuke, and he knows inside, that he is the worst type of trash that will ever exist, and he hates himself for it, hates, hates, hates himself for it. He's shaking, but not from hurt, or sadness, shaking from the utter, pure sense of betrayal. He has betrayed his only friend, the only other person he would call a brother, he has betrayed the only girl who has continued to love him, and he has betrayed the only sensei who will understand his hatred.

He looks up to see his own reflection, and he smashes the reflection in the mirror with his right hand, and turns off his Sharingan.

And as Sasuke's right hand begins to throb painfully, he hears Orochimaru snicker, and walk away. Washing the pieces of glass and blood away from his right hand, Sasuke pushes away the feelings of self-hatred.

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3. Sasuke looks at his own reflection. He sees someone else there, but he doesn't mind anymore. There's an empty feeling in the back of Sasuke's head, and it's from the fact that he doesn't have a brother anymore, and intensified by the fact that his eyes are now in his head.

He thinks of Konoha again.

Anger begins to well up inside of him. He thinks of Itachi's sacrifice, and he repeats in his own mind, "_They didn't deserve it, they didn't deserve it, they didn't deserve it!" _Sasuke activates his Sharingan, which morphs into a _terrible _mixture of his own and Itachi's Mangekyo. He wants to burn Konoha to the ground, for ripping his family apart, for ripping Itachi apart.

As Sasuke watches his own _eternal _Mangekyo spin, his anger settles into a familiar cold, empty rage. A still living Zetsu-clone knock on the door. "Are you ready?" the voice says.

Sasuke steps away from the mirror, and the empty feeling comes rushing back into Sasuke's head, as his eyes spin furiously.

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4. There's this bitter, copper taste in Sasuke's mouth as he stares at himself in the mirror. The feelings of an empty, cold rage are gone, only to be replaced by a bitterness in his body.

Sasuke knows what it's from. It stems from the fact that he _murdered _his own brother, _stole_his eyes, and then _fucking heard _his own brother forgive him for it. But Sasuke doesn't bother to search within himself any further. _  
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He hears a knock on the door. It's the First Hokage, he senses.

"Are you alright?"

Sasuke doesn't want to say anything. He just wants to curl up into a ball and shrivel away. But instead, he says, "Another minute." He hears the First Hokage walk away.

He stares at his own reflection. Nothing comes up, not self-hatred, not a sense of betrayal, not a cold rage, nothing but an empty bitterness showing in his dark, cold eyes.

Sasuke walks out of the bathroom, the bitter, copper taste lingering in his mouth.

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end.


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